« October 2005 | Main | February 2006 »

November 19, 2005

you're ruining our fort

dear fox executives

i am writing this letter to you requesting once for all that you put our minds at ease regarding the fate of our beloved show arrested development. by now we have all heard the rumours swirling around - how the original 22 episode order has been reduced to 13 and the show has been pulled for the critical november sweeps period...and yet, there has not been a definitive announcement from the network confirming or denying the status of our aforementioned beloved show.

certainly, the prognosis does not look promising what with the order reduction and the pulling. and to what end, so that yet another episode of prison break can be aired? and yes, i get it. i understand fully that this is fox's hot new show and there certainly does appear to be a great deal of buzz around it but as near as i can figure (admittedly i've not watched an episode) this is a show about a guy with prison schematics tattooed on his body(?) who breaks into prison in an effort to save his brother who has been so wrongly accused of whatever crime...and so this dude , breaks into prison to save his brother replete with his moxy and the aforementioned tatoos and a set of piercing blue eyes through which stares intently. a lot.

and correct me if i'm wrong but there dosn't appear to be much humour in this premise...so why not in season two have this blue eyed dude break into prison to save the not so wrongly accused george sr...that could really be a nice cross-promotional type tool...and really, why give up so easily on a show like arrested development that is so loved and revered by the critics and the few...oh that's right because you are the fox network and you have a history of cancelling the few brilliant shows that land in your collective laps...and now, in case you have forgotten allow me to divulge to you shows that i have loved. shows that i have looked forward to watching. shows that you the fox network have cancelled.

1: the ben stiller show because once upon a time ben stiller really was very funny (ben, i'll never forgive you for the disappointment that was dodgeball) and when he was he had a show that ran on your esteemed network from 1992-1993 (after it had been dropped by mtv & hbo) and was so much funnier than the overwraught often bloated in living colour which you ran for 50 years - a show that featured a young jennifer lopez (who is bloated and overwraught in her own right) as a fly girl. not coincidentally stiller's show won an emmy for best variety series. but only after you had cancelled it. also. one of the writers on the ben stiller show? none other than the beloved dr. tobias funke - david cross. i smell a conspiracy.

2: get a life starring that madman chris elliot. this show ran for one season in 1990 and wow. i don't think i've ever laughed out loud at a television show the way i did at that one. i mean the premise of a thirty year old paperboy still living with his parents and the crazy hi jinks that ensued. it was simply brilliant. much like elliot's maligned yet oddly hysterical film cabin boy.

3: andy richter controls the universe - now this one i can see how maybe it got cancelled because the show was odd and intentionally bizarre but it was funny to me. and i think it really solidified in my mind that andy richter was more than just conan o'brien's chubby sidekick. also, andy appeared in the film cabin boy which starred chris elliot from get a life - number two on my list of shows that never should have been cancelled.

4. herman's head - okay, maybe not herman's head. this show was terrible in so many ways - yet it ran for three seasons. and so i use it as reference point...a show about a guy & a girl who argue inside of a another guy's head. the guys name? herman. it was all very meta & silly & this show won no awards and yet you ran 72 episodes. 72 episodes of inanity about a guy named herman. and his head.

and so here we are fox, at a crossroads - you could make the eleventh hour decision to save arrested development or let it drift quietly into the night. and maybe it makes financial sense - i understand you have stockholders and advertisers to keep happy, but seriously so much of television is crap these days. and i'm not just talking about your network here. you've given us so much in the way of groundbreaking television over the years - of course you've had a nasty habit of killing most of it off - but still.

and seriously, just because lots of people are watching something - this does not mean it's good television (ahem) desperate housewives; lost (ahem). so why not take one for the team? do the right thing here. i realize you don't know me but i am really very hard to please. i'm one of those people who finds himself incredibly humorous and don't kid yourselves - if you knew me you'd probably want to give me a television show...and i do have scads of great ideas - not that i would share them with you because you'd cancel my show as well because it too would be brilliant - winning scads of emmies (and marie claire's)

but now i'm getting off point arrested development makes me laugh out loud. and that is not an easy thing to do. and this cast together is just magical (especially gob) and there are so many things still left unresolved...and suddenly i feel as though i am begging and really, i didn't want it to come to that. i simply wanted to say that i think this is a poor decision on your part and i wish you would reconsider. but if you insist on cancelling this show i can only leave you with these words from george sr's secretary kitty. this is the last time you'll ever see these michael!

Posted by young_christopher at 10:16 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

November 16, 2005

"Riddle Song" Sing-Along

As I type, the fingers on my left hand slightly sting. I have taken up the guitar after years of wishing I could play and regretting not doing so when the parents might have paid for lessons and forced me to practice so I wasn’t wasting their money. So almost two weeks ago I bought myself a guitar (Yamaha – sycamore top, mahogany sides and back) and started on up. It was a very bittersweet moment when I had to cut my fingernails on day two of guitar ownership. The nails were at a good place. Long, but not gross long, no hangnails or cuticles, filed, buffed, strong – my first sacrifice for the music.
I believe I definitely do not have a “knack.” Two nights ago, I played the same song for three hours, never once getting through it successfully. Oh the twanging! Last night, I finally moved on to the fifth and sixth strings, and tried and tried and tried to go smoothly up the scale. Good Lord, how I struggle! Which caused me to ponder what exactly the “knack” was. How long does it take to figure out if you have the “knack”? Do some people just have magically nimble fingers that figure out how to move after one go? I’ve been playing every day for a little over a week, and I’m going strictly by the book so I can have the basics firmly ingrained before trying to figure out how to play songs that I like. At this point “Rockin’ with C and G,” “Boogie Style,” “Riddle Song,” and “Gold with Threads of Silver”(or something like that) are plenty for me to undertake, and I dream of the day that I can sit back, pop in a favorite album, and play along. I’m not even dreaming of self-written yet. I just want to be able to copy other people. But I don’t think I’ll be one of those people that just sort of catch on. I really caught on to “Ass-hole” (you know, the drinking game?) and managed to become president really quickly when I first played, but I can’t think of much more that I just got. This always makes me feel extremely sorry for myself, and I will go running home seeking affirmation. Note to self: do not call mom tonight.
The “Riddle Song” has words, which is awesome because I do have a little singing background, and I love to sing along - with anything. I’ll hum along with the microwave sometimes if I’m home alone (don’t worry, I’m not one of those people that are always humming/singing at inappropriate times – *ahem* certain train riders). It was terrible, halting, and ridiculous, but super-fun. For me. My husband did not find the “Riddle Song” sing-along quite so hilarious. He was trying to read. Pfft. Who reads anymore? I used to read on trains and then got an i-Pod and so…no more. I can’t read and listen to music at the same time. It’s weird. What was I talking about? Oh yeah, my new guitar. It’s so shiny and pretty. One of my favorite things is tuning it. My tuner rocks and sometimes I tune my own voice and check out what note I’m talking in (I tend to go sharp). In my “Teach Yourself Guitar” book, there are some pages that talk about notes and rests, and I get really excited because I already know that stuff and can skip on ahead. Then I remember that the “knack” is not quite kicking in, and the twanging and squeaking and general cacophony of beginner musician ensues and I’m not so excited anymore. Who knew the guitar could sound so, so bad?

Posted by heidi at 4:57 PM | TrackBack

November 9, 2005

ode to a green hoodie

so i think i might be a compulsive shopper. and i want to make it very clear that i am not ashamed of this - because really, i'm not compulsive in the sense that i'm always buying things...even though i do buy things an awful lot. my compulsion has more to do with going out and looking at things i might like to buy. and so i spend an unhealthy amount of time in goodwill stores and in shoppes like marhsalls and/or tj maxx taking a mental inventory of everything that i might buy if money were not an object. and honestly, as an unmarried man with wads of money coming out of my ears money doesn't really have to be an object, but i choose to make it an object and as a result i simply cannot buy something unless i know that i am getting the absolute best deal possible.

i think this probably comes from growing up in a family with four siblings and there wasn't always lots of money to go around so when it came to things like school clothes i often ended up with hand me downs - and if this has never happened to you let me tell you there is nothing worse than wearing clothes to school that your brother wore just the year before...especially when you and your brother go to the same school...and honestly my parents tried, but they couldn't quite satiate the fashion maven within me. so if i got new clothes at all they usually came from *shudder* sears or jc penny and i'm sure those stores are great in their own right and yes i will agree that craftsman tools and kenmore appliances are spectacular...but the clothing at those particular stores...well, it sucks.

so as soon as i was old enough i got a job as a bag boy at winn-dixie and i would spend my hard earned paycheques on the only currency that matters in this world - bad ass clothes...and believe me it wasn't always easy. when i first started working minimum wage was $3.25 and i was an insecure sixteen year old so i foolishly blew my money on name brand clothing that could found in stores like chess king or merry go round in the local mall...and maybe it's the memory of that sort of wanton spending that causes me to hate the mall to this very day. i honestly can't remember the last time i bought an article of clothing at a mall. oh wait. that's a lie because i bought a suit there this past spring for the wedding event of the century out on the cape...but in my defense the suit was at a saks 5th ave outlet and it was also $100.00 off and i look amazing in that suit...seriously. i cry every time i look at the photos.

but per usual i'm getting off (hot)topic...i spent most of my post high school years finding fabulous clothing in the great jewish thrift stores that could be found in & around hollywood, florida. and not only did they have so much more to offer than your average goodwill/salvation army their prices were dirt cheap..but eventually i decided that someday i would have to have a real job and would need an appropriate wardrobe to complement said job...and i'm sorry but a t-shirt that proclaims i'm an american licorice lover aren't usually suitable office attire...but if it were...

anyway, i used to think it was enough to find a great article of clothing at marshalls (my personal store of choice) because even though it may be "past season" - whatever that means, you were getting a great garment at a deeply discounted price...but after years of building a sturdy wardrobe i began to think i could somehow save more money...and that dear friends, is how i became a stalker...not in the traditional sense. i don't want to cause anyone any alarm...i don't think i've spent any nights in trees outside of your windows...it all started last year when i bought this great cashmire sweater on clearance and i thought i was getting a spectacular deal and it really was reasonably priced...but then i was in the same marshall's a few weeks later and that same sweater was even cheaper...super clearance. and really, i felt like a complete idiot - because the second cashmire sweater i bought was a full $25.00 cheaper than the first.

and so i made a decision that i would no longer settle for the standard price if there was a chance i might be able to purchase it at clearance price. and then, if there was a chance that the item might be put on super clearance at some point...well, i would wait it out. and trust me. this is very difficult. because sometimes when there is just the one shirt and it's in your size - legs get weak and hands start shaking - and you think i just have to buy this right now...it might not be here tomorrow. and sometimes it's not. but it's a risk you simply must take. like the blue button down dress shirt - because i was patient (and also in marshall's at least twice a weak) i ended up paying $18.00 for a shirt that was originally on clearance for $25.00. i wore it to work today and it has since been dubbed new blue.

and in case you question my resolve, i once stalked a black leather satchel that was $69.99 for well over a year before they finally put it on clearance for $59.00. still i waited. and then one day it was $35.00. and it was mine. of course sometimes you want something so badly you can't bear to wait for it and that's why after months and months of longing, i broke down and bought the green track jacket...on clearance for $22.00. still a savings of $100.00 off of the original retail price...i love to shop.

Posted by young_christopher at 9:04 PM | TrackBack