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March 31, 2006
prognosis negative
greetings and happy friday to one and all - i'm writing to recap a ground breaking event in the life of not so young christopher carl weathers. for you see - i have just come from the doctor's office. that's right - the doctor's office breaking a streak that has lasted well over a decade. so what was it exactly that caused the streak to end? well wednesday afternoon i started feeling a bit off - like i might have a slight fever or something and then on the drive home from knoxville the fever rose to a fever(?) pitch accompanied by the aches. needless to say, it was quite the uncomfortable drive back and by the time i arrived home i felt like i might be developing a bit of a sore throat as well. the sore throat was ultimately the thing that sent me running to see the doctor. because seriously, it was/is excruciatingly painful so naturally i assumed that i had strep throat. when i was a child i thought the proper terminology was striped throat and i envisioned stripes of tender skin on the back of one's throat. which, really, isn't that alot what it feels like?
so i walked in to the green hills medical center this morning, signed in gave up the appropriate health insurance information and played the waiting game. the young nurse (whom we will call billy) fetched me after about an hour or so, took me in to a small room strapped on the blood pressure apparati, and took my temperature (even though i told him the fever ended yesterday) he then swabbed my throat for a strep test which i really think was a clever ruse to obtain my dna because they're still trying to pin that murder on me from way back in 1985 (thank goodness i've had a full dna transfusion since then). i should add here that at no point was i asked to remove any clothing which was a bit discouraging because i'd done 1500 extra butt crunches and 1000 additional push-ups because i just knew there was going to be some nudity.
in any event i sat and watched the strep test flash the negative sign as i sat and waited for the doctor. it was doctor yarborough - i was hoping for doctor holliday because with all the tombstone paraphanalia on the walls i had my i'm you're huckleberry at the ready. in any event during the interview we discussed my symptons - he asked if i was in relatively good health (this is where the nudity would have come in handy because i most certainly am) and he said, well - the strep test was negative and you don't have enough symptoms to warrant a mono test - besides you're a little old for that. and i think i must have laughed out loud because he took his glasses off (thoughtfully) and said well chris, most men, by the time they reach your age have had mono whether they realize it or not. so we left it at that. he wrote me a prescription - billy returned and asked me to drop my pants (finally!) and administered a shot of coritizone for my swollen throat. and with any luck, it will be another decade before i darken the door of another doctor's office.
| By young_christopher | 3:16 PM