August 20, 2009

if you will it it is no dream

we don't talk much about sports around these parts. but with the college football season just around the corner i find myself reflecting on the potential fate of my beloved miami hurricanes. one might ask that the question that if they are in fact so beloved - why have i not mentioned them before now. truth be told there hasn't been much to talk about since that fateful national championship game in 2003 wherein my heart was shattered right along with willis mcgahee's knee. there aren't many teams i hate more than (the) ohio state university and to see them win that game on an egregious pass interference call...well. i still don't like to talk about it. that miami hurricanes team produced a record seven 1st round draft choices which was a pretty impressive accomplishment but it left the old talent cupboard pretty barren down in coral gables.

and so it has been for the bulk of this decade - the u has fielded mediocre team after mediocre team (brock berlin anyone? anyone...?). they joined the mediocre acc conference and threatened to disappear from relevance forever. but then - 3 years ago someone finally had the bright idea to fire the kindly old coach larry coker. enter defensive coordinator and former player randy shannon who had the brilliant idea to return to the formula that had been so successful for so many years: recruiting players in one of the most talent rich states in the country - florida.

last year was the first year in recent memory that miami fielded a team with any noticeable talent. many of them were true freshmen and it was obvious that they had a lot to learn - but it was also obvious that it might be possible to walk down the street wearing my um hat with my head held high. the baby canes as they were so annoyingly referred to finished the season at 7-6 which doesn't seem very impressive on the face of it. but they lost by a touchdown to florida state and north carolina and held the national champion gators to 9 through the end of the quarters.

but - as they say - close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades and now that the 2009 season is upon us the young canes have an opportunity to make a name for themselves. early and often. they open their season with florida state - georgia tech - virginia tech - and oklahoma. which. is pretty phenomenally brutal. but my fingers are crossed that they can eek out at least a 3-1 record through this stretch. (oklahoma is a gimme. the big 12 is soft. yeah that's right nick. i said it!) because - in my opinion - it is high time that the canes returned to some semblance of - well - this:

if only sean taylor could raise himself from the dead and ed reed had another year of eligibilty....

| By young_christopher | 11:05 PM | Comments (3)

July 24, 2009

Watch me fall like dominoes in pretty patterns

A week or so ago, I read an article on Pitchfork about Thom Yorke potentially writing a song for the next Twilight movie. The article also pointed out that "15 Steps" played over the first film's credits. What the hell, right? Today I read an update confirming this and also that Bon Iver might be writing something. I really don't know what to think about this. But this whole Twilight phenomenon has been baffling to me from the beginning.

I get why the tweener girls got addicted to the crappy novels - it's not so long ago that I've forgotten how voraciously I tore through books by writers like Christopher Pike and R.L. Stine when I was in middle school (in junior high I made the leap in to sci-fi). I appreciate it greatly when kids get interested in reading because I worry that one day we'll find ourselves totally without sentence structure and punctuation due to a lack of any sort exposure to such antiquated writing techniques - so on that level, I can't complain. When the Harry Potter books went nutso, I resisted primarily as a reaction to massive overexposure. Eventually I gave in because people whose literary taste I respected recommended them, and because sometimes it sucks to be out of the pop culture loop. I was happy to find them very creative, witty and engaging with delightful characters and humor (except for the last book, which blew).

I don't see this happening with Twilight. And I HAVE had friends with excellent taste confess their addiction to the novels and I don't know what to do! Will I be the last person to have not read this stupid fluff? I've never been into the whole vampire thing - I tried to start an Anne Rice book once and failed to engage even remotely and gave up - but I really don't give a crap about sparkly vampires that can run around in the daylight. Apparently I have loyalties to standard mythology! Just seeing previews for the movies with some of the atrocious dialogue makes me feel embarrassed and uncomfortable. I can only imagine the kind of syrup soaked tripe I'll find myself immersed in once I crack the cover of an actual book. I hate the Twilight books. I hate that adults are reading them and gushing about them and promoting the further societal saturation of everything that annoying 12 year old girls find worthy of their short attention spans. I shudder to think of what will follow. However, after all that, I can't say I'll never read them because the truth is, I like being in the loop. I like being able to say with authority, "These books are shit, and no thinking, rational person over the age of 17 should subject themselves to them"; like with The DaVinci Code.

So now we have Thom Yorke and Justin Vernon jumping on the bandwagon and my confusion grows. Why would they want to associate themselves with this kind of mediocrity? I just don't get it. Am I really missing something? Shouldn't these movies be featuring, like, My Chemical Romance, and Evanescence? The mind, it baffles.

| By heidi | 10:49 AM | Comments (3)

July 10, 2009

i'm nobody's little weasel

if you had told me six months ago that i would be the proud owner of a 42" flat screen television i would have laughed. in your face. mostly because that's the kind of guy i am - but also because i am notoriously cheap. and as such i haven't really been in the market for a giant television. so how is it - you ask that i suddenly find myself perched on sofa's edge staring intently into the glorious abyss known as high definition. two words: facebook. actually i guess that would probably be considered one compound word but you get the gist. and if you don't - well that's just too bad for you.

that's not the point. the point is this....one night a couple of months ago i logged into my facebook account and saw that a recently engaged friend was looking to offload some furniture in anticipation of wedded bliss. so i casually asked what she might be selling and she replied by sending me a list which included a lot of things like tables and chairs and sofas and mattresses and...one 42" lcd television set. suddenly my mouth went dry - my ever overcompensating palms became moist and i thought...i could own a flat screen television! which was weird. because i'd never really given it serious consideration. sure i'd wandered up and down that particular aisle on occasion when i happened to find myself in an electronics store but never not even once had i been tempted to reach for my recession busting wallet. because in my entire life i have purchased exactly one television. (the spoils of growing up in the home of a tv repariman i suppose). in fact i've owned the same 32 inch magnavox with the faux woodgrain finish for the better part of two decades. so why would i want to purchase this particular television?

well i could tell the story here about how my step-dad and my (currently in federal prison - don't mess with the sec) step-uncle designed and built a prototype of the flat screen television somewhere in the hills of california way back in the 70's. they never did anything with it which is why they aren't millionaires today. and this is also why westinghouse owns the patent on their design. and owning such a television would be something of an adoptive birth right. but while this might be a compelling story to tell it really had nothing to do with my decision to purchase this particular television. what it came down to in the end was this and only this. my inalienable right to being really really cheap.

and the truth is - the asking price for the tv was - i thought a bit high. but then i figured if i pay full asking price for the television i could probably hack away at some of the other furniture that might find a home in my large and largely unfurnished home. and so that's what i did. in the end i came away with a super nice solid wood dresser, an ikea chair, a faux suede laz-y-boy, a television stand, a loveseat, and a kickass 1996 specialized bicycle (that i'm still sort of terrified to ride on the street with actual cars. share the road y'all!) take home price? under $1,000. and i wasn't even wearing a ski mask. sometimes it pays to be cheap.

of course the ensuing playstation 3 was not so cheap. nor were the curtains that i purchased to hang in the living room to conceal the fact that i had a large television and a ps3. but i'm here to tell you my home movie viewing experience has dramatically increased. i had a real crisis of the soul trying to decide which of my favourite movies i would watch first. mock if you must but these are the things i like to obsess over. and these are the kind of life decisions that are actually important. shame on you if you disagree! i decided that the first movie needed to be something with impressive cinematography, varied and extravagant set pieces - and of course a beautiful woman or two. (showgirls anyone?) in then end casablanca won out only because i don't own a copy of coyote ugly. and i'm here to tell you there is nothing quite like the glorious face ingrid bergman filling your heart and your living room at the same time. although audrey tautou is a close second. (i'm just saying). but it wasn't just casablanca and amelie - (the criminally underrated no thanks to keifer) dark city, the thin red line, the iron giant....i may never leave the house again. which means i could have a bike for sale in the very near future if anyone is interested.

so if you happen to be in the neighborhood and you're in the mood (for a movie) feel free to pop in. there's popcorn in the kettle and plenty of comfortable seating.

| By young_christopher | 2:08 PM | Comments (7)

July 1, 2009

wilco (the suck)

there is a moment in the song you never know that i think perfectly sums up wilco (the album). as the song limps to a close jeff tweedy plaintively wails "i don't care anymore - i don't care anymore - i don't care anymore - i don't care anymore". and that's exactly what this album sounds like to me - a smugly self-satisfied band lost in the bloat of middle age making rock 'n roll for men who wear pleated shorts and sperry topsiders on the weekend. this album just isn't very good. in fact at times it's embarrassingly bad. it's beach blanket, cheap beer, meat on a stick, passed out in the port-a-john summer amphitheater concert series bad.

which is why i don't understand all of the "positive" reviews it's been getting. pitchfork - rolling stone - paste - the chicago tribune all give this album a ringing endorsement. and yet if you read the reviews they all say essentially the same thing. the songs aren't very strong - there's really nothing new here - but it's a nice summary of all the various stylistic turns the band has taken through the years wrapped up in a neat little package. so the record isn't good but you liked it anyway? i'm confused...reading those reviews made me think of john madden and his blind brett favre devotion - "i know he just cost his team the game with that interception - but he's having so much fun out there!"

sure there are nice musical moments here and there on wilco (the toss-off)- but it's all been done before. the strongest song on the record one wing is essentially impossible germany with a bigger chorus. in fact there are a lot of songs that sound like they were built on the template of earlier better wilco songs. imitation is the sincerest form of hackery. it's a fun game - feel free to play along:

wilco (the song) - one of the few on the record that could actually be accused of having a tempo is crafted around the barebones chassis of can't stand it.

bull black nova is spiders/kidsmoke (and the less said about that the better).

i'll fight apes the intro from at least that's what you said before melting into a note for note for note re-imagining of the sbs closer on and on and on

and finally you and i sticks a knife in the back of jesus etc and takes its lunch money. and it's horrible. it makes me want to commit murder. why have the much lauded if decidedly un-feisty feist appear on your record if she's only there to laconically mimic the melody. it adds nothing to the song. in fact there are a couple of glaring instances where she and jeff tweedy aren't in sync at all. and it sounds like bad wilco karaoke night with your host leslie feist.

perhaps i'm being too harsh. but i really don't think so. because the lazy songs and the muddy production belie the fact that wilco are a phenomenal band. it would be impossible to lodge a complaint about the playing on the record. but would it kill you to break a sweat? come on man - i miss this band rocking. i miss the shimmering pop hooks. i miss everything that was and still could be great about this band. so what happened? who stole the magic? i for one am pointing the finger of blame at nels cline. actually that's not fair. i should probably blame jeff tweedy. because if you look at his history he has a tendency to take on the sound of his most prominent sideman. see jays farrar and bennett. and while nels is a phenomenal guitarist and an excellent showman he doesn't really rock. he's a jazz player. and that sound has sort of consumed the last couple of records.

and look a lot of people (some around these parts) eviscerated sky blue sky for being somnambulant yacht rock. and while i can appreciate the argument - i still find it a very satisfying record that i can listen start to finish and it just makes me feel groovy baby. and hey - even if it wasn't your cup of tea it was new territory. so... i don't know what exactly needs to happen here to repair this relationship. but i'm certainly willing to consider counseling. because hey - it's been 15 years. 15 dizzyingly satisfying years. but suddenly i find myself having reservations about so many things - including you.

| By young_christopher | 9:44 AM | Comments (9)

June 24, 2009

she don't know if he's got the wedding ring on

if jeff tweedy and the boys don't step up their game they are in grave danger of losing me forever. to a younger, hungrier lover. it's not that i'm not in love with wilco anymore - because i am. i really really, really do. most of the happiest moments of my life have been experienced with them by my side. its just that...well. it's been fifteen years and judge me if you must. but, whenever spencer krug walks into a room my heart starts pounding, my stomach implodes, and i just can hardly help grinning from ear to ear. who knew cheating could be so much fun? happy sunset rubdown y'all!

| By young_christopher | 9:44 PM | Comments (0)

June 15, 2009

le balloon!

in case you haven't noticed - my writing here in this forum has been a bit "sporadic" of late - and when i have written the conversation has tended to revolve around music. which i'm totally cool with. because as has been well established by now - i love music. but if there is one thing i love more than music it is the streak. i've had a few notable and legendary streaks in my life - but perhaps the most famous(infamous?) was the one that entailed me not shedding any actual tears since the tender age of fifteen.

it was at disney world. right by cinderella's castle. and i was wearing my sunglasses at night...which apparently even corey hart thinks is pretty cliche. but whatever corey...as i recall i was completely and utterly heartbroken over a girl named beulah (of all things) three years my senior - who had spent the entire weekend flirting with my older brother. and in the interest of fairness - i am much, much cooler than my older brother...but he always had that indefinable "it" that has eluded my whole livelong life...anyway that's not important.

what is important is this: last weekend i was in ashvelle, and i convinced my sister and her husband that we should take the kids to see up. because for my money there's nothing better than watching a child watch a really cool movie. and so we did. after church on sunday we ate a quick lunch and headed to the theater whilst singing the let's go to the movies song from annie. and in the interest of full disclosure i only knew the words from the chorus but eve imogen was all over the rest. which makes my heart happy.

and so we settled in with our popcorn and our refreshing beverages as the previews rolled and then the the lights went down - and then...it finally happened. the first fifteen minutes of up was just so heartbreakingly perfect i couldn't help myself. which is really shocking because sentimentality usually does nothing for me. even simon and garfunkle contend that i am more rock & island than they could ever hope to be...but the way they captured the first fifty years of carl's (seriousl - carl? i get the hint!)
life was just....well it was pretty much perfect. i'll admit it got to me. damn you pixar! the streak has ended. i cried. actual tears...and it was glorious! what a fantastic movie....!

as an aside. i've always been averse to fully realised computer animation versus 2-d/real animation (the iron giant will forever be the greatest animated film ever filmed) but those kids over at pixar know how to tell a really, really great story...the best part of the movie for me though was the aforementioned enjoyment of sitting between my oldest niece and nephew and watching them watch the movie...seeing their faces and listening to the unbridled cackling/laughter (squirrel!!!) and then looking down the aisle to see my not yet two year old niece - eyes glazed over in hopeless awe i couldn't help remembering what it felt like to be a child glued to a movie screen watching....for me it was diney's robin hood ....but you can fill in the blank as you see fit.... i may be a snob when it comes to music - but i am hopelessly helpless when it comes to film - and it's nice to know that i am still susceptible to magique and i can still get lost in that childlike wonder. and that can be a wonderful thing. anyway...just thought you might like to know. now go see this film. stat!

| By young_christopher | 11:37 PM | Comments (1)